A Sonnet of the Soul

Today I saw a girl adorned in green.
Her face was like an angel from above;
Her eyes were pure like I have only seen
Displayed upon the snow white of a dove

Although the nymphs may live eternally,
And taste not death nor hardship of this life,
Her life is more than theirs could ever be;
It's day by day that true love comes alive.

And in my arms I hope she finds her rest;
Always they long for her to be their guest


Language is one of God's most amazing miracles. It allows for the expression of so many different emotions, feelings, ideas, and purposes that it truly blows my mind. So today, when I saw my girlfriend walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid (In a beautiful green dress), I thought I might try my hand at a sonnet. If any true poets run across this, don't laugh to much.  (And yes, I know, it only has 10 lines. I will add the another quatrain eventually.)

Poetry especially blows my mind because of its complex simplicity. No other form of communication can be so eloquent or relaxing as spoken poetry, for no other form is so basically human. Without any accompaniment (no music, no body language, no dramatic staging), poetry shows exactly how creative, how amazing the human mind can be. Our Creator certainly knew what He was doing when He breathed us into life.

Love in the Dark

We can drown in the dark, or we can gasp for the light.

Sometimes in my daily walk with Christ, I find it difficult to stay focused on the goal. It seems that darkness surrounds and engulfs me, that I am alone in the sea of eternity. And yet always, just when I am on the verge of giving up, God somehow takes my hand and lifts me up. Whether it is through prayer, a kind comment, the love of my friends and family, or some other casual, commonplace event, I am ever reminded that my Savior is with me everyday. It is so encouraging to know that the Holy Spirit guides us through not only the important, once in a lifetime decisions, but in our everyday decisions as well. I've discovered that my daily life is where I stand or fall. It's not just deciding where to go to college, or what my major is going to be. It's what to say to my friend who's hurting, or the kid in the hallway who can't-or won't- stand up for himself. It's in those moments that I need to surrender to God and let him lead the way. I have faith that He will, and He always comes through. If I cry out to God in the little circumstances, I can better understand what He's telling me when to do during the important circumstances. Life is like a railroad. It isn't always sunshine and daises, majestic mountains and eternal plains. Sometimes we hit a tunnel, and the light at the end seems so far away. But, in the words of Corrie Ten Boom, "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer."

If anybody stumbles across this blog on the web, do you know Christ? I beg you, cry out to Him. He is the answer to all true prayer, the Great Deliverer and Forgiver. He may not be who you think He is, but He is so much more. Being a Christian is not just following a set of rules, a list of do's or don'ts. It is knowing God in His fullness, it is delighting in Him, listening to Him, following Him. When you fall down He picks you up, when you hurt He comforts you, treats your wounds. I understand if you're skeptical. So was I. But He is big enough to answer your questions, powerful enough to teach you the way of life. If you want to know more, just ask me. I may not know much, but what I do know I give to you.

 "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16. He loves you. Cry to Him, and He will answer.

The Sheep and the Shepherd

I often find my prayers going something like this:
My debt is unpayable, my sin too great. I can't be used.
 'Come, follow Me. I have made the way. I have paid the debt.'
What will people think? It would be so great if I could just do (insert self-centered idea here)...
'Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me... I will lead you on the right path'
Why can't I just find the answer, Lord? Where are you? Are you even with me?
'For My ways are higher than your ways... Ask, and keep asking. Seek, and keep seeking. Knock, and the door will be opened. The answer will be given to you'

I don't always know what my God is up to. I don't understand why things happen the way they do, or what God has up His sleeve. But I have faith in the God who saved my soul, paid my debt. The God who gives me peace just when it matters, who answers me just when I start to give up. The God who builds me, changes me, molds me slowly but surely into who He would have me to be. I often feel like giving up, but it is then that the Lord gives me rest. Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking. Keep carrying the cross, and Yahweh promises He will be there for us. That He has a plan. And I believe that. I throw myself, my hopes, my dreams, my future, on Christ. And I have faith that He will lead the way. I don't always understand, but I follow nonetheless... Then again, do sheep always understand their shepherd? No. But they trust him, they follow him, and he provides, nurtures, protects. Sometimes the sheep stray from the path, but a shepherd rejoices when a lost sheep is found. Oh, Lord, how amazing You are! That the Ever-Strong rejoices over the ever-weak! Oh, Lord, we thank you. Thank you.

"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me in paths of righteousness."

Grace, Grace, God's Grace!

"Grace is the bridge over a chasm that seemed infinite- the canyon between our depravity and His holiness." David Jeremiah's Captured by Grace

I know one thing I'm thankful for this year. Grace. The wonderful, infinite, mind-blowing grace of God. I've always understood the importance of grace. I've always been told that it's how I was saved. But oftentimes I forget what that means. I sin, and get so frustrated with sin that I beat myself up about it instead of running to the One who has the power to forgive. I focus on my weakness rather than my Savior's strength. My instinct is to try to 'be good' instead of leaning on the everlasting, ever-strong arms of Christ. Christ, who lived, died, and rose again so that I could be 'saved by grace through faith, and that not of myself but a gift of God'. And man, boast I can't. Everyday I understand more and more how unworthy of God's grace I am. But as I understand His loving grace, I feel pull, an irresistible draw to shout His Name to the ends of the earth, to share His grace with others. If only they knew! We are none worthy, but it's our unworthiness that makes God's grace as astounding, as comforting, as warming as it is. Thank you, Abba, for grace. Grace, Grace, God's Grace!

The Power of Music

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth.
Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.
Psalms 96:1-2

Music Rocks. And music for Jesus rocks even more. Thursday night my youth group (which consists of the overwhelming sum of three kids) went to a Casting Crowns concert. And man, did they rock the house. My heart was thumping, the balcony was gently swaying, and my ears rang all the way home. It was more than just a concert, though. The music was awesome, but the spiritual food was the most satisfying part. I left the concert with a renewed desire to go to Christ for everything, to Come to the Well. If you haven't heard their new album, check it out. God has blessed Casting Crowns with an amazing gift, and they are using it for Him. That's a lesson I hope I never forget.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA8UNaGKRhY
 

To Follow, To Live

My blog still exists, I promise. I haven't forgot. I just got really busy the last few months.

As marching band season comes to a halt, I'm finding myself with a little more freetime on my hands. This is a very welcome break after months of non-stop action. I was starting to think that life would never slow down, only to find myself nostalgic after it did. I had often thought about, but never really comprehended, what it would be last to march my last show on the Bear Stadium field. Now I know.

Last night I was able to sit down and study my bible for quite a while. It had been waaayy to long since I had read more than just a few verses at a time. And man, I forgot how refreshing it is. God really knew what He was talking about when He said that the way to know Him was through His Word.

I've had a recurring prayer layed on my soul lately. I want to follow the Lord. I'll waste my life if I don't. The question that keeps bothering me is how. How do I find a path I can't see? How do I follow a direction when I can't see past the windshield? Once again, I found the answer in the answer. The Bible.

Psalm 119:9 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping Your word."

Oh, how precious the Word of God is. He could've left us on our own, drowning in our sea of darkness to try desperately to live our lives. Instead, He gave us His Word, His Son, and His Spirit. They point to the invisible God, the God we worship, we live for, and live by. He truly is greatly to be praised.

As for not being able to see past the windshield? Thank God He gave us a compass. Thought led to thought, and before my quiet time was over, I stumbled upon Romans.

Romans 8:24 "Now in this hope we were saved, yet hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience"

God does care, and does answer questions. It may not be how we want, or the answer we want, or even when we want it. But He is ever-present, ever true. And all things ultimately work for the good of those who believe. Thank you God for your love, mercy, eternal kindness, and everlasting faithfulness. Without them, I really would be like a ship without a sail.

Do I expect all of my questions to be answered with magical verses or supernatural revelations? No. If nothing else, I know that I live for a reason. I have faith that by His grace, God will teach me the way. Wherever that may lead. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Band Camp, Gatorade, and Jesus

     AAAHHHHH. Today was one of those days. Every year, I forget that 5:00 comes around twice a day... until the last week of July. Then it's time for Band Camp. Oh, Band Camp... Sweat, sore muscles, mud-soaked shoes, and teenagers- who also had to wake up at 5:00 AM- make an unforgettable experience. Especially today. At 7:00 AM, the freshman beside me says, 'Aaron, I don't feel so good.' So I told him to go get some water and sit down. He did, and then came back.... and the next thing we know, his breakfast is all over the field. What a way to start the week. Poor kid.
     So after 7 hours of marching, playing, and becoming just plain exhausted, I finally, finally, made it home. Beautiful, gracious home. Home, where I could take the sleep of a thousand years... aka, an afternoon nap. But first, a drink of Gatorade. A glass of that orange, sweet juice never looked so delicious in my life. As I took the scoop of powder and dropped into the glass, a thought struck me. A thought I'd never had before.
     Before, all I had was a glass of water. Ordinary. Plain. But, once that powder was infused, that ordinary glass of water was altered. There was no going back. No matter how much I shook it, how long it sat there, or what else happened to it, it was noticeably, obviously changed.
     In the same way, as a child of God, I am changed. I've been told all my life that as a Christian, I should and would be different. I know that. But I believe there is more than that. I want to be different. My soul cries out to be given the thoughts of God, to be lead in the right direction. I've been thinking about how sick to the core I am of sin. Sin, that rears its ugly head every time I begin to feel God trying to teach me something. I praise God for Jesus, and for the Holy Spirit! For alone, I could never follow my Savior. But with the Great Helper, God has given us something we can't fully understand. No longer must we try to follow all the rules and "Do's and Dont's" of religion, but instead, the rules become a great desire. A love. A love for our Creator, a pull in the right direction. Thank You, Abba! Thank You!
      The Love of God is an awesome thing. As the Gatorade powder made the water sweet, so the Love of God makes us sweet. It changes our souls. Oh, God, change us still. Mold us. Pull us towards Yourself!
     When I took that first sip, I could feel myself relaxing, getting ready to rest the exhaustion away. My thoughts began to wander.... AAAHHHHH. Today was one of those days...
    

The End of the Beginning

     After 17 years of studying, playing, making and losing friends, and learning what living life is all about, I've finally made a decision. Life goes by fast. You might laugh at hearing that out of the mouth of a teenager, but it's something I've learned. I was sitting here at my desk, racking my brain to think of something to make my first post about. That's when it hit me. These next three weeks are the last three weeks of my last summer break. Next week is my last high-school band camp. This year is the last year of my "childhood.'' It's a strange feeling. I'm not particularly sad or nostalgic, but a little ancy just the same. I mean my word, my parents were married at ages 19 and 20. That's a little over a year for me! Me? Married? Heck no. No way. Uh-uh. Not in a little over a year. One day, for sure, but not that soon. I could have nightmares, I think. Combined checking acounts, (I see Mom slaving over the checkbook every now-and-then. I'm not envious), the ever ferocious battles about who's-on-who's side of the bed, and- eventually- a baby's dirty diapers can wait a few more years.... Actually, the dirty diapers can wait quite a few more years. I have college, maybe medical school... and then marriage. At least, that's the plan now. God has a way of shaking things up every now and then, though.
     My high school years are really what made me realize that life goes by fast. Oh, the memories made. Band ranks high among them. Getting shoved down the band-room bleachers... on my birthday... by my girlfriend... is something I'll remember for years. ("I didn't push you, Aaron. You just fell.") The sweat, soreness, and exhaustion of the countless band practices are high on the list of memorable moments, too. But it was all worth it the moment we had the trophy in our hands.
         Struggling through 11th grade AP US History is also something I'll never forget. Late night reading, last-minute cram sessions after a whole week of procrastination, and exasperated study groups had me feeling like the course was utterly impossible. Yet, once again, when I came out with a 5 on the exam, the joy, (and yes, dancing) was well worth the pain.
        Thinking over these and many, many other memories instills me with a yearning for the future. What does it hold for me? What kind of adventures does my Savior have planned? I mean, if I can have so much fun in just 17 years, I can hardly wait for the next 60 or so to get here! ...even if they do involve a few dirty diapers.
      My senior year is just around the corner. Another year of Band, AP, and learning how to live. Next May, when I walk the stage, will be the end of the beginning. The beginning has gone by sooo fast. And yet, even if it is the end of the beginning, does it have to be the beginnig of the end? I don't think so. Life goes by fast, but there is a lot of life to live. In the words of Chris Rice, "It's not the date on the toombstone that matters. It's the dash in between."